Build a Great Self-Relationship
It may seem a little self-explanatory because everybody has to have a relationship with themselves, right? Well, yes. However, some of us tend to think poorly about ourselves. We fall into bad habits, compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing better, and then think badly of ourselves. This cycle of self-hate can be really hard to escape from. If you find yourself in this cycle, we can provide the help you’ve been looking for. It’s time to start loving yourself and living the life that you’ve always dreamed of. But first, you need to build a strong relationship with yourself. Nobody can hold you back from success, not even you.
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The relationship that you have with yourself is the only relationship that is guaranteed for life, so it’s important to learn how to be your own best friend. You spend every day with yourself, so why would you practice self-criticism and self-loathing when you could wake up and love your unique self every day?
Be True To Yourself
Practice Having Agency
Speak up for yourself. You don’t always have to allow people to make decisions for you, you’re your own person. If your co-workers are choosing to go out to lunch but you brought your own, it’s okay to stay and eat alone – they had the agency to make the decision to go out and you can have the agency to stay. Similarly, learn to appreciate being in your own company, as time spent alone can be one of the greatest ways to heal your mind from a stressful situation. Remind yourself that you control your life so it’s up to you to make it enjoyable.
It’s Okay to Say “No”
It’s Friday night, you just got home from work and your friend asks if you want to get drinks with her. You’re feeling exhausted and planned on sipping some wine and watching TV by yourself tonight. You feel trapped as if you can’t say no because it would hurt her feelings. Ever have something like this happen to you? Know that it’s okay to say “no” to certain social events. It’s normal to have a night off from social interactions every once in a while – especially if you’re doing something nice and relaxing for yourself.
Find and Stick to a Hobby
Some women feel too busy to have time for a hobby. Others wish they had more time to enjoy their hobbies. The special thing about hobbies is, they’re something that’s fun for you to do in your spare time with no obligations. Good hobbies should be able to be done in isolation as well as in a group. You shouldn’t have to rely on other people to enjoy your hobby regularly. If you feel like you don’t have a hobby, give a few different ones a try. Think about all of the hobbies that you wish you had tried in the past and try them for a few days. See if any new hobbies stick out to you.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Get out of the habit of looking at other women and telling yourself that you’re lesser than them. Everybody is unique in their own way. We are all humans who live with our own imperfections and insecurities. As cliche as it is, it’s true that nobody is perfect. Start by practicing complimenting yourself. Point out what you love about yourself. When you get to the parts you don’t like so much, ask yourself honestly: is this something that I can actually change? If the answer is no, then chances are, you just found a characteristic that makes you unique. You need to love that unique feature, because without it you wouldn’t be you!
Start with Self-Care
Practicing self-care is healthy for your mind, body, and soul. The best way to start gaining control back of your life is by taking care of yourself. Every day and with every decision you make, you should think about prioritizing healthy sleep, nutrition, fitness, and resting habits. It’s hard to feel self-confident when your body is exhausted and not taken care of properly. It might feel more comfortable to fall into bad lifestyle habits, but once you realize how good you can feel with a healthy routine, you’ll never want to go back.
Leave Toxic Relationships
Recognize when a relationship is manipulative and get out as soon as you can. If you’re not sure, or even if you don’t think you’re in a toxic relationship, we suggest seeing a life coach to discuss with an outside force what your relationship is like. They might be able to help you see if a relationship is healthy or toxic.
Set Realistic Goals and Give Yourself Rewards
When building a better relationship with ourselves, we think of the results that it will bring. This is why you should consider what goals you have for developing your relationship with yourself and how you should reward yourself accordingly. Set short-term and long-term goals. Break up your long-term goals into milestones so you can reward yourself quicker to help you stay on track. This will also help you remember why you’ve set these goals and to see how you’ve progressed.
Give yourself a little treat every day – but don’t plan it. There are many ways to do this, but it’s whatever you see that sticks out to you throughout your day. These treats don’t always have to cost money either – it could be taking a relaxing bath at the end of a long day. When an opportunity for a “treat” arrives, you’ll know.
Schedule Daily “Me” Time
Every day, you need to set aside at least a few minutes of alone time. In this time, you will be able to better reflect on yourself, your day, and your goals. Pre-plan when and what you will be doing in your free time. Make sure that what you’re doing in your free time is something you enjoy.
Use Positive Inner Dialogue
When you talk to yourself, are you being nice? Instead of attacking yourself, take a step back and analyze your feelings. Don’t spring to your first instinct of getting angry at yourself and calling yourself stupid. Instead, look over the situation and ask yourself why that’s bothering you. Or ask why you are feeling certain emotions. Instead of beating yourself up and self-loathing, use questions that start with “why” to hopefully prevent these negative behaviors, thoughts, and feelings. You can also try journaling your feelings or talking with a life coach to become more self-aware of your emotions and actions.
Healthy lifestyle changes should start with the self. Once you have built a solid and caring relationship with yourself, you are ready to make changes in other parts of your life. Improving the relationship that you have with yourself may just be the most difficult part of the journey to find a perfect life balance, but once you’ve accomplished this, I can assure everything else will be easy.
Find out how to make positive changes and keep balance in your life and sign up for my FREE masterclass: 5 Shifts to Create Work Life Balance. This course can help you be a better person all around by creating a natural balance between yourself, your relationships, and your career. Start living your best life. Sign up now!